The Player and the Spectator
I have discovered a deep and previously unknown bitterness toward Facebook. Not necessarily that it exists, but its form and the way it takes up space in reality has always bothered me. Until now, I have tried and failed to express my annoyance, and gone back to accepting the good things about Facebook. It let me access stories that I would never have heard otherwise. It let me maintain contact with people who would have fallen out of my realm of existence years ago. And I liked that.
And yet....
Facebook was too comfortable. You could scroll past my posts without engaging me at all, or you could choose to engage me long enough to click a button. You didn't have to think too much and if you didn't like what I said, it was so easy to go the next post and read what someone else said. With so many people in one place, you didn't have to engage me. You could pass me in that hall without looking at me or speaking to me and no one would think you were rude. In that place it's normal to engage only the things you feel like engaging, and if you feel like picking a fight, go for it! No one can tell you what to do on such a public forum, and besides, it's the internet. People can't hurt you through your computer screen.
Granted, I'm very sensitive to this sort of thing. Cheapened or counterfeited experiences are abhorrent to me because they tell lies. Facebook claimed that I could contact any of my old friends at any time. While that is mostly true, it was presented with the assumption that access is all I'd need to have a relationship with everyone I've ever liked. But the truth is that things change. People change. And if I'm not careful, I'll contact a name I know and find a person I do not know. Having access does not equal having a relationship. Of course, access to a person is a necessary prerequisite for having a relationship with that person, but it cannot stand alone. Without intentional, personal communication, a relationship on Facebook will never move past the stage of Player and Spectator.
~Susan
